One of the techniques I use when coaching people is to help them visualize their personal and professional legacy later in their life. Creating a narrative of your contributions to others up to the present moment, and then imagining your “future self” discussing the second half of your journey can be a really rich, moving way to gain clarity on what is important to you and how you can refocus yourself to bring those possibilities into your life.
Having also dealt with my father’s passing with the help of the superb hospice care nurses, I know first hand the incredible clarity that death can provide. Being “in the moment” with your loved one as you say goodbye is one of the most intense and transformative experiences of a lifetime. I really enjoyed Dick Daniel’s recent blog post about the lessons we can learn from the time spent in hospice.
He writes “The world of hospice has reminded us to say four words to our friends or loved ones who are in their last days or in our last days:
…Thank you
…I’m sorry
…I love you
…Good Bye
Perhaps the human challenge is to learn to speak these words throughout life not just at the end of our journey in this world. Let’s just focus on the first words that apply to everyone who leads. Senior leaders must step away from the hard skills of leadership (results) and step into the soft skills of leadership (relationships) to combine positive influence with effective action. Saying Thank You has a simple but profound impact on those you work with. The assignment includes your team members, your customers, and your vendors.
When you really know your people you will find regular opportunities to catch them doing something right. Then say, Thank You! Those eight letters provide the foundation for employee engagement and the retention of your best talent. Start speaking them and you contribute to building a talent pool and leadership pipeline of people who know they are appreciated. These are the team members who will be ready to step into new leadership opportunities at higher levels of organizational complexity. It all starts when senior leaders build and model a culture of gratitude. Who can you thank today? Say it now!”
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Adaptive Talent is a talent consultancy designed to help organizations achieve amazing results and ongoing adaptability. Founded in 2008 and based in Vancouver, Canada we offer retained search, assessments, total rewards consulting, training, leadership coaching and development programs, and culture & organizational development consulting.