My friend Wendy connected me to a fun blog post on 15 things you should give up to be happy. I’m guilty of many of these things some of the time, and probably all of them at one point or another. What about yourself?
Here’s the top line take aways; please visit the website for the full article.
1. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT
There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others.
2. GIVE UP YOUR NEED FOR CONTROL
Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc.
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu
3. GIVE UP ON BLAME
Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.
4. GIVE UP YOUR SELF-DEFEATING SELF-TALK
How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset?
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle
5. GIVE UP YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle
6. GIVE UP COMPLAINING
Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
7. GIVE UP THE LUXURY OF CRITICISM
Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.
8. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO IMPRESS OTHERS
The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
9. GIVE UP YOUR RESISTANCE TO CHANGE
Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell
10. GIVE UP LABELS
Stop labelling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer
11. GIVE UP ON YOUR FEARS
Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
12. GIVE UP YOUR EXCUSES
Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real (Editor: or that can be easily solved).
13. GIVE UP THE PAST
I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.
14. GIVE UP ATTACHMENT
The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene.
15. GIVE UP LIVING YOUR LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS
Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.
When I am working with clients, I often hear these reasons and for many people they are very powerful. Remember, we are the writer, director, and actor in the story of our life; it’s one of the most powerful and liberating ways to view your life, and it’s also an incredible way to develop greater awareness of self and others, and self-management. By reconnecting to how you truly feel about all aspects of your life, the changes you want to make become clear. The contrast between what you want and the current state generally involves some of the excuses above, and it’s the partnership between you and your coach that helps you decide whether those excuses still make sense. People light up when they drop these excuses, and they build up a level of self awareness that allows them to more easily tackle them when they crop back up in the future. This is why I love coaching so much – it’s a powerful way to unlock people’s passion and energy and the world is a better place because of it.
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Adaptive Talent is a talent consultancy designed to help organizations achieve amazing results and ongoing adaptability. Founded in 2008 and based in Vancouver, Canada we offer retained search, assessments, total rewards consulting, training, leadership coaching and development programs, and culture & organizational development consulting.