I turned 41 today and wanted to share some thoughts on life, aging, and family using the philosophy of Carl Jung as a metaphor. Bear with me – it’s only slightly geeky.
Jung believed people have two primary mental functions: taking information in and making decisions. He also believed that people were predisposed towards an orientation to the outer world (extroversion) or the inner world (introversion) and that the interactions between those preferences, especially the priority relative, influenced how you lived your life. Isabelle Myers and her daughter Katherine Myers-Briggs were fascinated by these concepts and built on his work to create the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), represented by those famous four letter combinations (INFJ, for example) that represent your four preferences.
Jung wrote that the first half of life is when you learn to comfortably use your primary and secondary preferences. The second half is where you learn to have a broader perspective about, and comfort with, all four of your preferences and will likely begin to more heavily lean on the lesser used preferences. The shift from the first half of life to the second half of life can be a major point of reflection, transition and gateway to powerful personal development and additional happiness.
I was certified in MBTI last week and it caused me to reflect on my own journey and I encourage you to do the same. 2008 was full of huge change – I turned 40, lost my Dad, quit my job, changed careers, and started my own company in the middle of a global recession. It’s interesting – and often embarrassing – for me to look back at various situations and interactions and see how I have changed over the years. You learn slowly that there is no out-running your personal demons; you need to embrace the whole you, insecurities, needs, ideas, wants, and all and consciously learn to interact with others in a more balanced way.
Jung’s theory is very motivating to me, especially as someone with an INFJ preference. We can come up with big ideas but we can also come across as aloof, head-in-the-sky, overly sensitive dreamers. Launching my own business and working with leaders of small and medium sized organizations has allowed me to use my other functions, namely clarifying my thinking and recommendations, growing my self confidence, and generally enjoying developing all sorts of new skills, knowledge, and relationships. My fantastic life partner Mark, someone with common values but a different approach to life, has helped me lighten up, laugh, and more fully appreciate the value of balance. (Author’s 2020 note: As I update this blog during a pandemic and second “black swan” event in twelve years I cannot think of a better real life example of our environment forcing everyone to adapt and adjust.)
Thinking about the second half of life can be a bit daunting, but my suggestion is to focus on the legacy you want to leave for others. It could be something tangible, like volunteering, or creating or growing an organization, or it could be the way you interact with others over the course of your life. There really doesn’t have to be any one “thing” but I do feel life is more meaningful when in service to others. An Executive / Leadership Coach can be especially helpful as you look within; it takes effort and the rewards are usually well worth it.
The opportunity to give to others is a gift and I find it inspiring that the lessons learned in my first half can be better applied towards leaving a fantastic, loving, legacy to others. Here’s to the second forty+ years!